Picked A Helluva Day To Quit Drinking!

According to the Internet, Mark Twain famously stated, "Giving up drinking is the easiest thing in the world.  I know because I've done it a thousand times."  Who knows for sure whether or not he actually uttered those words about drinking...maybe it was about smoking...maybe it was about Asian hookers...all I know is that, no truer words have ever been spoken.

(Even Superman Enjoys Happy Hour!)

 

Another famous quote from is, "Da-Nile ain't just a river in Egypt", and for a long, LONG time I've done just that.  I would boast that moderation is the key to life, but who's to say what's considered moderate?  According to the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, "moderate" (on average) is "No more than 4 drinks on any single day AND no more than 14 drinks per week".  14 drinks per week...which (for you number-crunchers) is 2 drink per day.  If I take a sec to throw some ballpark numbers to see how "moderate" I am, this I where I stand at my very consistently worse...

 

 - Yours Truly Per Day = 8 to 12 regular sized beverages

(Boy That Looks Refreshing)

 

So, by my math, I'm consuming anywhere from 56 to 84 libations, PER WEEK!  Even if I were talking about giving my kids hugs, there's nothing "moderate" about that number!

 

Honestly, numbers do nothing for me and I suck at math, so I'd prefer to look at more tangible evidence to support my sobriety.  Very simply, when I drink, one way or another I feel like SHIT...and not that good shit that comes out clean and leaves you feeling 10-pounds lighter.  I drink to avoid stress, frustration, boredom, dealing with others, dealing with myself...To Avoid Reality.  That's what makes drinking so great; it makes reality less sharp, less harsh, less real!  Look at any booze commercial on TV...they show people without a care in the world doing extraordinary things.  There's no work, or significant other bitching you out, or whining kids, or crazy family members (and not the GOOD crazy).  There's just you, friends, good times and your beverage of choice - Life Is Perfect!  What they should show is people digging through their car for quarters to buy the cheapest vodka, waking up at 7am with an awful headache next to a hippopotamus you'd chew your arm off to get away from! (*DISCLAIMER - Scenario NOT from personal experience)

 

Not-so-surprising are the days, and especially mornings, that I DON'T drink (as few and far between those days are).  I feel Damn Good!  I want to get shit done, tackle the world, do the things I've always wanted to try and be the man I know I can be.  Yeah...that feeling last about 2 days, then comes the cravings, the headaches, the WORST nagging headaches, and you know that all it would take is a couple drinks to right-the-ship...so the cycle begins again.

 

I'm on my 2nd day without a drink and the withdrawals haven't started yet.  I know they are coming and I know that to beat this I have to deal with them.  What sucks is the rest of the world doesn't stop to allow me the time I need to weather the storm, break the cycle and it's that bullshit that always seems to drag me back down the bottle.  As cliche as it sounds, I have to take things day-by-day.  Thankfully, I have My Love to lean on and the Gruesome-Twosome are always a welcome distraction.  I still wish I could escape from time to time, but that's just another way to suppress and avoid reality.  Bottom line is that this needs to be tackled head-on with the type of strength and conviction I typically try to shy away from.  I'm hoping this blog continues to provide me with the motivation and introspection that helps me recognize the greater good...because I'm better than this.

("White-Man's Burden, Lloyd")